With warm thoughts and memories

I make it a point to have father's day lunch with hubby and his girls. But this year plan tukar sikit.We had makan-makan kat rumah untuk bincang the preparation untuk abang's eldest daughter wedding and Father's Day celebration combined.
I don't have much memory of celebrating Father's Day with arwah Pak.Sadly, bila Pak dah tak ada, baru rasa ruginya tak celebrate father's day with him.
There are nine of us.I am the second youngest in the family.Pak and mak has two sons and seven daughters.It does not matter whether we had equal time with them. I am sure, we each have special memories of Pak. Mine was aplenty. Nevertheless, my last conversation that I had with him is still fresh in my memory.It was a day before he passed away.It was before subuh, I had a weird dream, I dreamt that Pak passed away but mum managed to revived him by massaging him. I woke up immediately,sat at the edge of the bad, told hubby and called him up immediately. He was already awake.I asked about his health, he said, he was not feeling too well, and tanya bila I nak balik to visit him. I promised him that I will balik "this weekend".Little that I knew,it was my last conversation with him.
I have so many warm memories of Pak,so many that it would be difficult and painful to mention all of them.I always felt I was closer to Pak then Mak.Even though Pak was strict nevertheless, I never felt that I could not go to him if I have any problem.It was Pak to gave me "the talk about akil baligh".I remember sitting on the bed, listening to him explaining about period.Surprisingly, I tak pulak rasa malu.Pak was always there for me.I didn't realised that I am always forgetting and needing something from him. Always.
I remembered Pak waiting for me at the the bottom of the stairs case, jalan belakang sekolah with a Tupperware of udang yang I tertinggal kat rumah untuk my SRP's home science exam.Pak datang ke my hostel bawa Acts and Statues yang pak beli untuk my exams.Supplying me with air yassin untuk jadi penerang hati for my exams, every semester without fail.Rushing over from Gombak with mak to Shah Alam, bila I was pick pocked at Bus Stand Klang.Gave me some words of encouragement sebelum I pi ambik my SPM's result by saying that no matter what was my result,he would always be there for me and that he will always sayang me....He was there so many important occasions in my life, my graduation, my first job, my engagement and wedding. He was my driving force in life. He said to me, before Pak pejam mata, dia nak tengok my anak.Sadly, he didn't. On the day that I had Athira was one of the happiest and the saddest day of my life. I missed his hugs, his kisses, his laughters,his presence.I missed him. May Allah swt have mercy on his soul and may he be placed dikalangan orang yang beriman. Al-fatihah.