Monday, June 28, 2010


I am still not able to accept it. It is inevitable...but I didn't realise that it would be that fast. My little girl has grown up. She had her first period yesterday. I am still learning to accept my eyes, she is still my little girl..

As I relate the news to a equally shocked hubby, I told him how it was arwah Pak and not mak who told me about the birds and the bees. And how Pak told me what to do with period..that I would not be able to to clean was quite weird to hear this from Pak but somehow I was not embarrassed by it. Besides him, mak didnt say much, infact she didn't tell me what to do...infact none of my sisters helped me through my first day or week of period.

So, hubby being the sweet father he is had a talk to Athira about facts of life...about period..the dos and the donts..with me at the corner, adding in what ever that was necessary...for the first time, I spoke to her in a grown up manner.

I never thought the day would come so trying to adapt to this new phase of her life.. my girl is growing up fast...while the mum is adjusting to it with a tinge of sadness...


Thursday, June 24, 2010

can you see it, can you hear it?

They say women are unpredictable. That women cant decide what they want and most of all women do not know what they want. Well, there are some truth to that. Women are unpredictable and its no sacred secret that woman at times DONT KNOW what they want. I guess that's what makes a woman a woman.Women and men are not cut from the same cloth. Women are not being a pain in the ass if they cant decide in making small decision as in choosing between the pink lipstick or the lighter shade of mauve..but yet can be so certain in making decisions that are life changing.

Women are such delicate but yet resilient creature..thanks to Allah the All Mighty..we are able to withstand the pain of child birth and yet cry at the sight of thing that might tug our hearts. We can cry ourselves silly to some sick love romantic movies...and yet some have the incredible strengh to shoulder the heavy responsibilities.... To all types of woman,whether we are different in physical or our mental abilities. We all want to be understood by men...but sometimes we do not we let ourselves to be understood.I wonder at times whether its our own way of putting on a "self protection" mode.

Men on the other hand can be such pain the ass. They have only one thing in their mind. Their needs comes first..the other insignificant things will just falls in line..They can be arrogant and quite egoistic about that.

I have no arguments that men are Khalifah of the world..infact I embrace and welcome it..that was what intended by the All Mighty..I want to be lead, I want to be protected and I want to be loved and needed. Women's liberation? It's over rated to me.

I all know is that sometimes, women are to be blamed for giving all sort of signals and messages. What we forget to realise is that the man's mind can only decipher things that are clear and unclouded. We tend to think with our on the other hand are said to think only logically..

What we need to do is SPEAK UP..STATE your needs and wants..Stop playing some mind games, which have no rules or the rules are made by you..just say it. Why do women expect men to read their mind. I for one, do not want him to read my mind..I would like him to know what I want.Enough of pretending that everything is fine and dandy..just speak up, you have a voice to speak..speak up, but speak in the way that reflects the beautiful and sensitive being you are...speak with humility and sincerity, speak from the heart...It it more bearable to live in a life of what you want than what is expected of you.

So the next time, when we sulk or curled up in foetal position, sobbing our hearts out..blaming him, blaming others, blaming the world...just pause and think..whether we have ourselves to blame for giving the wrong signals.


Tuesday, June 22, 2010


I thought that a last minute call to a four day course would be a something that I would look forward too..on day one, smses from my PA asking me about this and that...smses from colleagues..asking on the status of this and, I dragged my feet back to office to finish some urgent two..perused an agreement while trying hard to listen to the speaker..tomorrow will be day three..I don't know what to expect..anyway met my former officer while having lunch alone at the canteen instead at the Dewan Makan...there's a story on why I am eating alone instead of joining the other participants...that another story to tell..anyway, lets not digress ..It was nice to meet up with a friendly face...we had a lovely chit chat, she looked so seems things are pretty bad, I am so grateful that I have left the place with no regrets..alhamdullilah..anyway, she shared something that was pleasant to the lifted my spirits..but I told myself..lets not get overly excited..knowing my luck the bubbles would burst soon..but I would not kid myself...a candy is a candy..just enjoy it while it last ..and it does not last long. So hopefully, the sweetness of the candy would last for a couple more days..and hopefully the next two days would be urgent matters to attend to, no office calls to answer..lets hope for some peace.


Friday, June 11, 2010

Fed up.

It seems that two can play the same game. Who sets the rule?..well,there are no rules.You want out...well, its too late..lay your cards on the table. Fed up with your attitude..fed up with giving and giving and giving...just FED UP!Period!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

So innappropriate

Is it normal to look at people and say this.."why is he or her with that girl or guy.." Do you feel like a bitch for being cynical or is it normal..and people would do like wise to you..hahaha..I remembered receiving a call from lil sis about this...she had called me up to tell me that she met a couple that was so "different"..and her views were quite catty..meow! .hahaha..I wonder whether there are any people who have have passed any remarks when they see me with hubby...personally I don't think we have something that is so contrast of each other that anyone would be bothered to say anything..

Talking about appearance, I asked dearest hubby whether I was appropriately dressed this morning for a trip to beli surat khabar..I was dressed in jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt..what wrong with look?..well, I was more concerned about the t-shirt which was quite snug..what I didn't expect was hubby's reply.."nampak macam kakak kerani"...hello?..what do you mean with that? I pried and pushed hubby to justify that answer..he just could, am not pleased at all with hubby.Quite frankly, I do not understand his answer...

Men, especially husbands..can be so irratating...why..why..cant they think before they come up with more appropriate answers...I think they take the pleasure of saying dumb things...just for the sake of shutting you up..ooooh so inappropriate!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

In our own ways..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY sambut hubby's birthday dengan berdating dua orang without the kids..selalunya rasa guilty kalau berjalan just the two of us..but today it felt just right.The morning started with something quite boring, pergi ke LDHN buat appeal. Lepas tu pi ke 1 Utama to service my car..had a light breakfast of kueh nyonya..a bit of usual hubby felt out of place at the lingerie section..then it was off to the shoes section..he enjoys looking at shoes..tapi pelik tak beli..pi bayar bills..then it was off to Jalan Ipoh for ikan bakar. Hubby picked this place..I thought he would would have picked somewhere fancy since it was a birthday treat for him..tapi hubby nak sangat makan ikan bakar pulak..anyway it turned out to be a good choice cause lunch was was finger licking good.

Next stop believe or not was a karaoke session in the Curve..hubby was not too keen about karaokeing..but managed to persuade him..we ended having fun singing our hearts out, the throat was felt dry jugak walaupun asyik berminum..menyanyi ikut sedap hati aje..habis pitching lari..Oh ya, it was suppose to be a couple's booth..yunno untuk couple duduk dalam gelap-gelap but when we went in..the first thing we did was cari the switch for lights, meraba-raba mencari sampaikan hubby accidently tertutup switch karoake set..hahaha..takut tak nampak kalau tak ada lampu..anyway, I think we had too much fun..lepas tu pening kepala..

Next stop was MPH ..bought some for the kids to ayah..and a mushy card from mama.A birthday would not be a birthday without a beli cake..its more for Sofia than the ayah..she gets more excited in singing and blowing the candles than ayah.

So, the day may not be exciting for a young couple..but enough for both of we have grown to be more sensible and quite boring...believe it or not that was enough fun for us..and believe it or not our first date was 22 years ago.. at Kenanga Inn at UiTM..makan time have changed us...Kalau dulu masa hubby belum dapat motorbike kapchai..boleh jalan kaki dari Bus stand Klang ke Sungai Wang..sekarang ni kalau boleh hubby nak park kereta kat parking lot yang paling dekat untuk mengelak berjalan..kalau dulu suka tengok wayang..sekarang ni pi tengok wayang on my own or with the kids and occasionally he will join us..kalau dulu boleh berborak berjam-jam on the the conversation is about the kids, what to eat for dinner..kalau dulu boleh serenade me to sleep (masa zaman awal-awal kahwin dulu) he will fall asleep while talking...

So dearest hubby, we may not have the energy to be do the things that we did 22 years ago...nevertheless we can still have fun together. Happy Birthday dear..