Friday, January 30, 2009

I am listening...

This is not my new year's resolution...it just plain sense and me trying to be a better person and mum. I am trying to listen better. Why listening eh? Well, I feel that there is "sense" of hearing but not listening when it comes to my eldest daughter.Kesian kat kakak, she talks more to her ayah, cos he is her best buddy....bila dia nak bercakap or bercerita with mama, adik selalu kacau, adik will interrupt as I am listening to her sister with her own stories.So, poor kakak. So, now onwards, I would not allow words to be just words, I want it to be a communication.I want to listen more.

Now, how I wish this applies to the people around me too.At the office, I still have problem with certain people...minta buat research dah lebih 2 minggu...tapi tak sampai pun to my table...hmm, tak kan tak faham apa I cakap....my instinct says to do it myself....ya, memang that's my work attitude pun , just do it yourself if you want fast results, tapi ni susah sikit, I know nuts about Islamic law, so I have asked my syariah officer untuk buat kerja sikit....hmmm, it would take a lot of time for me to do my own research on a particular matter and time is definitely against it...nak prepare submission on a subject that needs fast understanding and in depth knowledge is beyond me at this point.

So, back to my desire to listen more to my closest and dearest, I hope they feel the same.Mak is with me at the moment. Was told by my sisters that she is suffering from depression....on that note, she seems to be disturbed with the notion that all her jewelleries hilang kat Alor Setar, about how valuable things tak boleh disimpan kat sana. She is also is upset about certain things and keep on repeating about it...my thoughts on this, is that all these are making her feeling depressed.It is sad to note that she wakes up in the morning with all "these complications" and its a rerun scenario of her life everyday.Everyday.

I am listening.....

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

What a weekend.....

Hmm,what a weekend it was....we went to Cherating for a family gathering...we were the first to arrived at kak dah's place in kuantan...yang lain tak sampai lagi walaupun we took the wrong route..Kak Dah served us nasi lemak with ayam goreng and rendang daging..sedap...Zubir dengan tak rasa malu kata he will continue makan nanti bila the rest sampai...besides nasi lemak, we had lepat pisang and mandarin oranges..kenyang jugak lah. Anyway, tunggu punya tunggu,the rest came in batches,amal and kids, Tizah with her family,abang dengan kak zai, baru lah kak chick sampai dengan abang chick....during that waiting period,zubir and I sempat tidur...letih punya pasal.Oh ya,sempat jugak pi beli pisang goreng...hajat nak makan satar tapi tak jumpa...so makan goreng pisang aje with karipap..boleh lah tu....

We took off to Cherating, sampai dah maghrib...the kids were so eager to play with the sand, semua lari main kat pantai....tengah nak gelap tu boleh main pasir...I was quite worried jugak...I teringat orang tua-tua kata, tak elok main kat luar masa waktu maghrib...especially kat pantai pulak tu, lagilah double the paranoid.

I couldnt relax and let my hair down (literally of course)since I had to be back in KL the next day....rasa tak syok kena kerja on a sunday,especially this particular sunday.Terpaksa supervise a booth...dont ask untuk apa, Zubir pun was quite dissapointed cos dia ingatkan boleh rest and jalan-jalan kat cherating...well,let me say this, if I tak balik ke KL on sunday, it would appear that I was taking advantage of my officers,both of them had to sacrife their weekend too, it would be most unappropriate for the boss to go AWOL...thats not my style.

Anyway, malam tu, we have some slides show of the Aisyah's wedding....then the karoake session...I sat beside mak on the bed,she was saying its not apporiate to sing, ada orang nak solat (no one was praying at that time)...she was quietly dok mengucap and berisghtifar...hmm,I pun terpaksa tengok aje...lepas the rest lepas gian menyanyi...it was off to dinner....now dinner was kinda of late...about 10+pm...budak-budak dah mengantuk,I pun dah letih, nyamuk pun sedap dok menghisap darah...so lepas makan nasi goreng and ikan bakar,tak sempat makan yang lain, I balik ke bilik with Kak Mah, Tizah and my kids...ingatkan boleh tidur...hemm, ada session tangkap lipas pulak...before dinner we had some screaming session with flying lipas...and Kak Mah peed in her pants....heheheh.

So, the next day,I woke adik from her sleep so that she can play on the beach before we head back to KL...so, kakak and adik dapat lah main-main sikit on the beach although they couldnt mandi...the waters tak berapa sesuai untuk mandi. The beach pun bukan landai,it was quite beralun, didnt feel too comfortable about it...

Anyway,all of us dapat some goodies from kak Chick....the sisters dapat beg...cantik in three different shades, the kids dapat pouch with sequinned hairbands....my kids seronok melaram.Kak Dah pun ada bagi goodie bags before we left for Cherating...filled with keropok and buah mandarin oranges.

Back at home,I had a small makan-makan, tahlil and doa selamat on Kak Chick's suggestion on Monday.Was not too happy with the choices of food, could have done a lot better kalau I had more time. Kalau ada masa and if it was not a long holiday due to CNY, I would have catered the makan-makan with something much more heavier.Well, there will be other occasions or excuses to makan-makan.Anyway Kak and family couldnt made it to my place...Syu had an operation and baru discharged that afternoon....so the mood was just not perfect without them.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Year 2009, changes & surprise me, Syu...

A lot has happened since the last jottings.....the renovations are nearly 95% completed.Kakak is back to school....Adik has a new haircut which is quite pixie looking. She calls herself Farhana, after her cousin...not realising that we were referring her as Rihanna as in..."umbrella....ella..".

Anyway,I am looking forward to a better year in 2009...year 2008 was quite eventful, there were some dramas at office...heheheh...I am learning new things at my new office, well, not so quite new la, have been here since September 2008...People factor is quite a major part in my life at the moment. Banyak problems at work with certain staff and officer...tapi kerja mana yang senang. I guess you have to be thankful with what you have...I have learnt that kita tak boleh sangat berlembut, cos they are going to step on you head so, I am going to be a little bit tegas but at the same time approachable.....hmm, boleh ke?

Am making some changes at home....will try to be a better mum by listening more to my kids especially kakak....like they say, you are hearing but not listening. Well, its quite difficult to do so since both nak bercakap at the same time...adik will not give way to kakak and kakak will get upset....mum, will eventually get upset and irritated with the whole scenario bila ada yang menangis pasal bergaduh-gaduh....kadang-kadang nak bercakap with ayah pun susah...kita nak bercakap they will interupt...and ayah bila dah baca newspaper, susah pulak nak dengar....aaahh..sometimes I will say ridiculous things like....the cow jump over the fence, or dinding kata jom pi " just to see whether the ayah is listening....somehow macam mana tak tahu lah, he will always repeat what I have said...together with the silly stuff that I have said earlier....hmm, tajam jugak his hearing. Although I can say the same about his eyesight, baca paper...tu sedepa depan mata....hmm, tapi tak mau check his visions....

Since I am making some changes in work, lifestyle, etc....my blog pun kena la revamp sikit. I have asked Syu to do her wonders.....full trust on her judgements...but just to be on the safe side, I want to retain purple as my background with whites...I have asked her to create somethings that screams ME.....but not too obvious of course. I want it to be sweet....ada bunga-bunga sikit...something soothing, something that reflect my personality,hmnn wonder whether that is possible....hehehe, banyak pulak syarat....oh ya, the title should remain...tapi kena pilih font yang lebih attractive.....I came up with picture of cupcake which has the features of alien...cos during meetings dulu, bila dapat cupcakes, kalau I dapat something yang looks odd or cute, I will take a pic...hehehe....meetings can be so BORING.So, Syu..do your magic..surprise me eh!