Visited mum last night. She was folding her clothes in front of the tv. In fact she was so absorb in folding the clothes. I didn't want to disturb her pace. She looked so fragile. I had a tinge of sadness looking at her but didnt want to show it to her. Syahirah said that mum was still coming with terms of Wa's passing. It's never easy to lose someone close to you...not matter whether you are young or old. The emotions of grief are the same. I still miss Pak terribly at times.
Mum was aware of Wa's passing when I spoke to her...but this is something that we all have learn to accept of mum's condition...she has selective memory. She might remember something for a few minutes or repeat a conversation again. Again and again.
It saddened to think that mum has to come to terms with so many things in her twilight years...things and people around her can be very disorienting...and frightening. As a daughter, I don't know whether I am sensitive to her needs or am I self absorbent of my own problems. Too self centred of our own life.Will my children hold my hands as I had held them when they were young. I cant be second guessing of what's is in mum's mind....but I sure hope she doesn't have any doubts of our love for her.
Something on a lighter note, hubby asked the waiter in Nando's today for invoice instead of the bill. He is aging ...and he is always telling me to remind him about stuffs...to pay the bills, to call up someone...to see someone....he has enough gadgets with him to bleep and ring but he still needs me to rely on. It's okay, am not complaining. In fact I need it more than he knows.
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