Bila nak siap?!....

My house have been under "seized" by the contractors for the last one and half months....the initial agremeent was '40 working days'by then renovations akan siap, well I may be poor with my maths but I can still count. My counts went on more than 5 times on my hands, it has definitely exceeded the 40 days period....the house is only 80% completed...thats alot you may say....tapi banyak lagi kerja lain yang tak siap lagi, macam to my dismay...my kitchen is still in a mess.The quotation pun berubah dua kali, hmm,asyik naik aje...argh...argh!I snapped at my contractor bila he said.."kak pintu cabinet dapur, kita baru tempah, ambil masa 2 atau tiga minggu nak siap, pintu bilik air pun sama, kena tempah ikut saiz....almari cabinet yang sedia ada tak boleh pindah lagi, tunggu pasang cabinet baru dulu....dalam pertengahan bulan Januari baru siap cabinet".....Well, that was the last straw that broke the camel's back...apa lagi, I pun berleter sikit and voiced out my frustration....and naik ke bilik cos tak boleh tengok muka dia.Tapi, the good side of me, smsed him later in the evening...minta maaf cos "mood kakak kurang sikit"..

Kerja-kerja renovation ni memang rimas....the noise tu quite bearable jugak walaupun loud...adik selalu menjerit kat the pekerja sambil cekak pinggang..."DIAM, DIAM, jangan bising la adik tak suka!"...hehe...cute adik.Tapi yang tak tahan is the endless habuk....as you know, kakak and I ada asthma....it was very difficult to avoid from getting an asthma attack with all the habuks....kesian, tengok kakak...took the kids to see their pediatrician for some measure of precautions...dapat ubat untuk satu bulan...hmm....as I said earlier, dah terlebih sebulan......ubat dah habis makan.

Hubby was (still is) very helpful, nearly every night dia mop rumah...kadang-kadang kesian jugak, especially time tengah sibuk dengan kenduri kahwin aisyah, balik malam pun, dia mop jugak rumah. Masa tu, rumah lagi teruk...penuh dengan concrete yang pecah dalam rumah...nak masuk, kena jalan area living room yang ada concrete debris....Bila hubby and I tak boleh bercuti, hantar the kids to rumah Wa, at least kat rumah Wa, budak-budak rasa lega tak ada habuk and debris dalam rumah.We are grateful to Wa and Syahira dapat jaga the kids...adik suka sangat pi rumah Wa...kadang-kadang dia ajak pi rumah Wa during the weekends...I have to divert her attention by bawa dia jalan-jalan ke tempat lain...ya lah tak kan nak kacau Wa during the weekends pulak.

Anyway, back to the renovations, banyak lagi yang nak di siap, rimas bila kichen tak siap completely....we have been spending a lot on makan-makan kat luar...budak-budak tu pulak memiih nak makan macam-macam.I missed cooking....baru semalam, dapat buat fried rice...rasa lega dah dapat masak. Itu pun lepas they have installed the new sink, sink yang lama, masih belum dibuka, tak boleh pakai....kalau pakai sikit, air tersumbat cos ada residues of simen and pasir....hmm, the workers guna sink tu untuk basuh tangan, peralatan kerja...bla, bla, tu yang tersumbat. Ada a big baldi kat bawah sink untuk air tersumbat yang asyik menitik slowly....hmm, bila ada proper running water, baru la boleh buat kerja , kalau tak geli ....I hope they would remove the old sink soon...buka and buang aje...rimas and sakit mata tengok. Am trying so had not to stress myself...as it is, I dah demam tiga kali during this whole period.... Kak bought for me some herbal colon detox, although I dont have any control over my bowels during the detoxing period, but atleast I dont have any surprises.Like I always say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade....

One has left the nest......

Alhamdulillah everthing went well last weekend. Siti Aisyah will now tick the Madam column instead of Miss.She has now entered the statistic figures for married women. I dont know whether she had the wedding of her dreams,but I hope she was not dissapointed with the whole wedding do.

I guess every little girls have dreamt of their wedding as early as the kahwin olok-olok scene. I dont remember having any specific dreams of how my wedding would be....infact, I dont remember any fuss was made by anyone...sobs!sobs! ....all I could really remember was that it was so difficult to cari the right wedding bed. I remembered pi window shopping dengan pak, mak and kak mah (masa tu, Pak tak berapa sihat....felt very bad Pak was dragged along)... punya la susah nak cari the right bed within the budget. At last kak mah yang jumpa(?) my katil..., kak mah did my kain cadar and langsir from scratch...I didnt pick the colours....it was picked for me....I basically didnt have say in the wedding ....hmm....nevertheless I am grateful with what I had.

Well, I am just glad that the whole shebang of organising a wedding is over....as Tam had said,one down and 32 more to go...hmm, the next wedding by the way is just around the corner, 6 months to be precised....hmmm. So it will be back to the drawing block and the organiser's clips...tapi tak apa, thats what family are for...to help each other...lebih ramai lagi seronok.Maybe the next wedding akan jadi lebih senang.

I received a thank you sms from the mother of the bride...it was a heartfelt thank you from kak chick....she thanked everyone in a very personal touch...it was very sweet. I hope that she is back to "normal" now....I hope the whole wedding scenario was a sweet memory for her....marrying off your first girl must have been a combination of relief and yet quite sad, Aisya is no longer hak mutlak the parents, sekarang dah tukar geran kat Ali....aisya priorty would be a wife first....

So, one has left the nest...thirty two to go....hmmmm

Hoping for the best.......

Last week,I nearly blew my top....while delivering my "kekecewaan" during a monthly meeting, I could actually hear my voice was trembling a bit against the silence of the whole office.Now I know macam mana rasa jadi boss, the sense of dissapointment was so great...I felt so let down by them.I felt so sad that my officers and staff let me down by not performing to their level best.I felt and knew that they could do better...but the dissapointment of facing the truth was much more greater.It was a bitter pill to swallow.

Sekarang, baru I realised I should have been more "sensitive" to my bosses bila dibuat teguran.They only had the interest of the organisation at heart.I dont know whether being a daughter of Pak Wan,the expectation of being a good leader is much more higher. Pak was such a good boss,leader and manager. I have heard and read great things about him.His former officers would always say that although he was very tegas but he was also a fair boss.He had the welfare of the staff in his heart.My heart would bloomed with pride bila dengar cerita about his execellent leadership.If I have a quarter of his leadership qualities, I would be very, very grateful and blessed.

Now that I am facing numerous problems with my officers and staff,I feel quite suffocated with the whole situation. I questioned myself regularly...can I face them with full determination or will I backed down with fear....Its quite a struggle to balance everything. I dont want to be a popular boss, I want to respected for having good qualities as a person not as a boss. At times, I am so burdened with the whole situation....I feel like screaming.....infact on one occasion I nearly did.The next best thing was to talk to my other half so I smsed hubby...telling him about it...and waited patiently for zuhor prayers so that I could calm down.....

Well, I am away from the office for 4 days....I hope there would be some changes after the last meeting...I hope I have drilled in some sense of awakening in their performance....lets hope so....

Mak's soul mate

Amal gave me a link to this particular blog, it lead me to reminisce about mak and pak..the write up was sad but at the same time heart warming cos this blogger have the same problems that we are facing with mak.Her mum is also at the "in between worlds"...where mak cannot comprehend clearly on the things that are happening to her...but at the same time, appears to the "aware" of her surroundings....quite contradicting and confusing.In mak's world I seem to have 2 girls with one boy...hmm.

Last week, kak played a fast one on the whole family about mak tak nak balik ke KL cos she nak jaga kucing, ayam and itik...now about the kucing...mak has soft spot for kucing...dulu kat Sri Gombak, we had kucing yang tak dibela secara rasmi, mak bagi makan and selalu mak yang ambik tanam kucing bila kena langgar kereta...AJ selalu langgar kucing bila nak reverse kereta.Now, pasal ayam and itik...it got us worried about mak's condition cause mak tak bela ayam and itik kat Alor Setaq...

Anyway, what I want to say is that mak is going through a frightening period of her life, I can understand Kak Mah's concern bila she said to kak that she is worried that it will happen to her (in reference to kak's sms about the kucing, ayam & itik) ...I have that same notion too. Will my kids be a patient as Wa, will they be thoughtful of my feelings...I pernah pergi to One U, lepas naik escalator,couldn't remember where I parked my car, a sense of panic and anxiety crept in....and it was only just 10 minutes ago of stepping out from the car. A cold truth strucked me, kesian kat mak, she suffers these episodes on a regular basis everyday...just imagine how she must be feeling. All confused and frightened.Alone.

Bila I baca that blog tadi, I teringat balik about pak and mak when they were together. Being the second last and among the two girls yang were living with them, while the rest were raising their own families...Amal and I were fortunate to see the other side of Pak and Mak.

They were a very loving couple...I could still remember them watching the tv, with pak head cradle between mak's peha...pak gently playing with mak's fingers...they were not shy to display their affections, there were occasions when Pak will say something amusing and mak will smile,they would talk about something routine but it doesnt seem to bore them, that is marriage to me... at the back of my mind, I said to myself...alangkan bestnye dapat jadi macam tu nanti....Mak was not only his wife, she was his best friend,loving companion,matron (jaga ubat-ubat and his low fat, low salt diet for Pak)and most of all his soul mate. After Pak pencen, mak accompanied Pak to his meeting trips to Sabah and Sarawak while Pak was a Commissioner for SPA.Infact as long as I can remember, Pak always had mak with her....they went to pasar borong selayang in the wee hours of the morning to stock up the weekly or monthly supply...pi bayar bills together, makan breakfast together...makan mee jawa kat Greenwood (bawa balik 1 or 2 bungkus), pi jalan-jalan together...they had so much togetherness.It must have been a nightmare and still is for mak to lose Pak.She misses him all the time, I can see it in her eyes.I am not saying that we, the kids and grandchildren do not bring her happiness and joy but I am sure that it is not the same comfort of having a your better half with you.

(this was written about a month ago, but I just couldnt complete it for some reasons, infact banyak lagi nak ditulis but I seem to be really busy or the log would be "hilang" cos tak boleh auto save...something about connection...)

One small step at a time.....

I am trying hard to change my eating habits to a better and heathier one. For the past two weeks, after raya celebration, asyik makan salads for lunch except for the occasional lunch date..., had lunch at Nando's with Amal last friday, we had chicken burger...hmm, the chicken was roasted not fried and the bun came with some salads...so it was kinda of healthy la...hehehe and the other lunch date was with my officer...I had no choice but to jamah nasi sikit. Dont get me wrong, I am not completely cancelling nasi from my menu. I still have nasi lemak at weekends.I noticed the last time, I was only on protein diet, the kilo melted away for awhile, but it came back viciously later...much alas, I gained back all the kilos and more....sobs,sobs,sobs.....

This morning, I put on my exercise gear (bought about 7 months ago, still had the "newness" smell)tried my very best to follow the instructions on the CD...while trying my best NOT to be pancit, heard Sofia exercising her lungs up stairs....wailing for mama to be upstairs...me, trying hard not to wake up the neighbours,kata "kan ayah ada...."

She came down, saw Mama trying hard to strech and jump, went upstairs again.....later ayah came down with Sofia again, looking not too happy.....hmm, even the sight of mama in tight pants, sweating (not the sexy way...heheh)and panting did not raise an eyelid from ayah.....hmmm.

Well, the exercise session became a watching session by the kids...ayah was smoking at the corner...maybe feeling a bit sore with the kids and not with mama I hope.

So, mama tried to finish the exercises.....sebelum ayah went out to buy newspapers....tanya nak makan nasi lemak ke.....thought hard for awhile....ayah waited patiently for an answer....hehheh. minta nasi lemak ayam goreng .....heheheh...so much for exercise ya...Well, I have to give myself credit for TRYING to make a change.... ciao.

Shop till you drop..

Malaysian love to shop...why I say this, cos shopping complexes are filled to the brim with shoppers during this ramadhan month. Just last friday, I went to SOGO during my long friday break, Ya Allah, ramainye orang, sampai nak lemas.I saw some men, tersandar kat dinding and duduk dekat escalators, squashed with some kids, yang dah tak larat shopping, their mums and wives were still going strong...hands were still deep in the bargain lots.I was a bit distracted and sedih, tengok satu mamat ni, carrying a small baby...rasa-rasanye, masih dalam pantang. There was no sight of the mother. Kesiannye, rasa macam nak tolong dia aje...tapi nanti orang kata kepochi pulak.

I went with a mission to get some pants for my nephews and niece. So, I tak lah distracted dengan godaan lain. Walaupun,begitu, I treated myself to a pair of slippers...okaylah tu, tak lah balik ke office terhoyong hayang with plastic bags...nanti apa pulak kata staff. Anyway yesterday, lepas pi Immigration Dept to make I-kad for bibik with hubby, kids and of course bibik...hubby went to work lepas selesai buat kad...I left the kids at home with bibik and went out to do some last minute chores....tukar duit raya, bayar bil telefon, beli some undergarments and blouses.Adik nak pi rumah Wa, she thinks Wa is keeping or hidding TH...heheheh.Tapi bila dah balik ke rumah at 3 something...rasa penat nak keluar pulak.So, I smsed kak, kata tak jadi datang. Kesian adik,tak jadi hantar dia ke rumah Wa although Wa was very obliging on having them...

Ramai jugak orang buat last minute shopping...we did our raya shopping during the Mega Sale...saja, nak beat the crowd...tapi, seronok juga shop during the festive season....ada banyak choices. Shopping during this season,yang tak bestnye ramai orang and the queque nak membayar panjaaaaang.

Yang takut tengok, ladies shopping without any self control,I was amazed with the amount of energy that they had...tangan kiri kanan penuh dengan plastic bags...they shopped like there no tommorrow. As, for me,sadly I have to shop within a budget... kalau tak habis 'vitamin m' before the end the month. Sofia, is quite a shopaholic for a three year old, sikit-sikit cakap, jom mama pergi shopping, kalau membeli baju, siap posing lagikat cermin kedai.Hmmm, she shops macam mama and ayah dia cop duit...hehehehe.

My kids seems to think that weekends are suppose to be filled with shopping and makan-makan. The choice of food that they want to eat is sometimes quite depressing to the parents....asyik-asyik McD atau KFC. Dah rasa kembang tekak asyik makan McD.....tapi parents terpaksalah terima aje. I hope to teach them to be more adventures in their choices of food....till the next weekend's dose of shopping...ciao.

No Mills and Boons please...

Without realizing it, a week has passed by so quickly....I am still adapting to the new working environment....I have about a staff of 28 people under my care....on my first day, they were very reluctant to share any negative info about the people or the office....however the pandora box was opened on the second day...to my own amazement, I was quite calm although dark skies were above my head...well, no use crying over spilt milk.....just have to breathe hard, pull my guts in and go with the flow.I cant devulge any info on it, it would be unprofessional to do so.

Anyway,today I had some matters kat kl courts...it was lovely to see some familiar faces...tapi banyak jugak muka baru yang tak kenal.....I dapat jumpa staff lama, Raju...he still is the same....charming as ever....met some bailiffs....tak sangka they can still recognise me...hmm, maybe I have not aged much...heeheh...
Bila dah settled kerja, I buat courtesy calls on TP and PKP....saje nak kenal-kenal...it was just plain common sense untuk berkenalan with fellow officers....

Raya is just around the corner, we will be going back to Alor Setar for raya, kak kata the first omarian to arrive will receive a surprise from AJ...hmm, I hope its not penyapu, mop and bucket untuk cuci rumah.I am looking forward to see mak and tengok-tengok buku pak...rasa sayang buku pak kalau tak dijaga.Pak was always obliging in spending hard earned ringgit on books....I think I have acquire that passion for books from pak.I am willing to spend money on any form reading materials...am trying my best to cultivate good reading habits in Athira tapi I noticed, dia suka membeli tapi tak habis baca...sayang betul...tapi I tau she finished the book that Wa bought for her...katanya it was nice, she likes the characther name Ibrahim, adik kepada Ana.Katanya ceritanya kelakar.

Dulu kecik-kecik, mula baca buku Enid Blyton, by 12 years old, dah baca Mills and Boons...hmm, lets hope Athira will not start reading romance books at such tender age...I am putting some of the blame of reading romance books at such a young age on my sisters....I ikut aje.....terikut -ikut baca, bila dah mula baca, it was difficult to put the books down but now, I strongly feel little girls should be young girls as long as mother nature allows it....hmm, I cant believe I sound so ibu-ibu....well, age is definitely catching up...heheheheh.

Maybe, if I am lucky, my old collection of Enid Blytons books at Alor Setar ada lagi..