Alahai...ASP KAMAL

I am such a sucker for men in uniforms..except for Pak Guards...hahaha.I have always had a soft spot for man looking so deliciously divine in uniforms..In fact hubby, after graduated pun teringin nak masuk Police Force..maybe because practically half of the family were serving in the police force.. tapi tak jadi. So please excuse me if I have the HOTS for ASP Kamal....Hmm,this is MY MCDREAMY...hehehe.I was swooning over him. This lady agak tak sedar diri...could this be my mid life crisis ( so soon ah...still in my early forties me!).

Some might questioned my taste...or lack of taste...(who cares!)but...I was...basically reminding myself that I have a hubby yang sedang menanggung sakit...jatuh bike...yeah..Again!..at home...sementara wifenye...seronok mencuci mata...alahai...macam makan chocolate...sedap..something sinful can be such a pleasure..hehehe.I am not going to aplogise for this entry..nobody reads them anyway...this is for my own indulgence.

Talking about indulgence...I had to repeatedly, yes, repeatedly..beristighfar..Ya Allah, hamba mu sememangnye lemah..iman tergoncang...mujur this applies only to ASP Kamal...tak pernah pulak dulu kat court, hari-hari jumpa polis jadi macam ni...haha.

Hai...tak sangka kan...this lady who appears to be sensible...can be SO the opposite ..well, only at times. To my darling hubby, who knows me inside and out..my weakness is that tell I you everything..even about ASP Kamal..I know you will tolerate this episode of ...what shall I say...lack of sound moral values...ya, ya.... I LOVE YOU TOO!

Kita bukan orang putih..

So, I told myself this morning that I would let my mind control my emotions for today.Well, I must say, although I am feeling tired..somehow overall it was quite okay..at least I still have the energy to do my posting eh.So, I must teach myself to have the control of mind over emotions.

Lets take one day at a time. which reminds me...I want to organise my closet...uncluttered the mess..remove unwanted stuff...throw out all the 'rubbish' that have been accumulating in my files and almari. I think I have inherited the trait from Pak..I keep things for sensible reasons..I maybe need them in the future.But sometimes, what is sensible now, can be just pure rubbish in the future.That explains for the surat-menyurat yang I simpan dalam files...paper cuttings yang kononnye for some interest and knowledge...drawings that kakak and adik buat...some pieces of mementos from friends..scriblings...One scribblings yang I cherish tapi dah hilang...some words of encouragement from Pak that hilang bersama purse yang kena curi masa beratur naik bus 222 from Bas Stand Klang to Shah Alam...sedih...

Tak apalah, yang pentingnye memories tu...by the way, tadi I tanya hubby macam mana dia lamar I, I cant remember...why the question? Because I tertengok dalam tv tadi...hubby cakap I suruh Abang Bakri and Kak Ha masuk minang..."kita bukan macam orang putih..nak cakap will you marry me". Well, to be honest I do not remember the actual words or when he proposed...I guess there was no proper proposal...alahai, terfikir balik tak romantik la hubby ni. Or maybe romance is over rated. Dulu ada rasa all giddy and goey...maybe, age is creeping up with me...well, lets be fair, hubby had his fair chance at being romantic. Sometimes, words are best left unsaid...let action speaks...but without words..we are just living in silence, not that we are both living in silence..not with two kids...we can barely have decent conversation...bila the kids dah tidur baru boleh sembang-sembang...syok jugak sembang malam-malam ni...hehehe...

Oh ya pagi tadi adik kata.."sempit la"...amboi, si adik ni, siapa yang menyempit ni...both the parents yang selalu sakit belakang...tidur kat tepi katil, macam nak jatuh aje..adik seperti biasa tidur ikut sedap hati aje...pusingan 360 darjah...tidur dengan budak kecik best, dia suka peluk and boleh peluk-peluk. Nanti bila dah besar sikit dah tak nak peluk-peluk dah. Tapi too much of peluk, rimas jugak...yang jadi mangsa adik sekarang is ayah...macam-macam aksi adik tidur with ayah...anak ayah...she gets away with it.

Let it be...

The mind is such a powerful tool. I am trying to test whether my moods can be control by my mind instead of my emotions. I am expecting a full lousy day today. There are 2 meetings scheduled today which I have been dreading since last week. Lets see whether I can breeze through it without any major setback. By the way, am supposed to be driving to work by now...hmm, lets just not rush eh...So,let it be..

Trying...

Was looking forward for the weekend.So much.Was looking forward to see Aqil.So dissapointed.I have to work this weekend. Two full days.Trying hard to accept the situation.Trying....

"I JUST CANT SWALLOW ANY MORE LEMONADES"

Love

Words, they say too much. Love comes in silence -Yasmin Ahmad.

Hmm....

Maybe it's just plain tiredness, maybe my period is due soon, maybe its just plain clash of personalities, maybe napoleon needs to start a fight, maybe its just another lesson to be learned, maybe its just another endless story to tell.Maybe.

I am trying to be a better person spiritually...trying to take everything in stride...trying to make lemonades out of lemons, trying to be a good Muslim, trying to be contended with what life has to offer. To be humble with what Allah swt has for me. Trying.

Today,I had a clash of opinions with a person I called Napoleon..Little N. Geram sangat-sangat.He went "blah...blah...blah", bercakap tak pandang kiri kanan...pakai redah aje, my ears was so sore. Surprisingly, although I was so annoyed with Little N,even though my hands were shaking as I was speaking...nevertheless, I spoke in a polite and sweet manner (bukan puji tapi the truth, hahaha). I didnt raise my voice..although Little N was so very rude...I realised that while the words were coming out of my mouth...I wanted to be dignified...I didnt want to stoop to his level.He is short anyway (oops!sorry!)Dah lah tu. Closure. I dah lepas perasaan kat lil sis tadi. Tak nak waste my time and energy writing about it.Let this end abruptly. Enough.I am NOT going to let Little N occupies a part of this beautiful mind.Hahaha.

Let me see....
There is something to look forward to...am going to be a grandma..the first cucu for the Omarians..walaupun technically dah ada cucu on Zubir's side..but its not the same.Should I be called Tok Chik..because I am supposed to be mak cik but ended as Cippa@Cikpa.Or maybe Nana Cik...Nana Cikpa..nanna...or plain TOK.Maybe lepas tengok Ali Junior, it will come naturally.
Athira and Sofia will be aunties...how I love babies...maybe Aisyah and Ali will let me babysit once awhile...

"SET ASIDE SOME TIME TO DAY DREAM"

Back to routine

My last posting was on 27 January..so, it's been about 20 days eh...how time flies so fast eh.I have been up and about at home, at office...dah lama tak baca blog orang...blog sendiri pun not updated. Guilty of that. My mitigation is that I have been consumed with everything.The last 3 days have been filled with sleep and more sleep. On Saturday..lil sis and I went to see Konsert Satu Suara..best..tapi sayang we were at the top level...gayat..and terpaksa hulur kepala and badan kedepan. So, the next visit to IB will not be tinggi ke atas. The next time, kena keluarkan duit lebih lagi..Oh ya, managed to watched Valentine's Day in the morning..hmm,I think I was the only person without a partner...I coupled with my chezzels..but the movie was not my cup of tea. Did not enjoy it.The kids spend some quality time with hubby...I think they got on his nerves...hahahaha.

Sunday was filled with tidur again but cook a storm with hubby for lunch..petang pi makan tauhu bakar and ABC kat Giant Shah Alam...Monday..was a lazy affair, I fried mee..had that for breakfast..hubby watched rugby...so mama tidur lagi, petang pi ke One Utama. Mama beli banyak bunga kat Lovely Lace for my office...sometimes one needs to indulge for one's sanity...beli bantal untuk adik and ayah kat LQ..tapi ayah tak nak, so mama dapat bantal baru...I teringin nak makan cake, ended up, with rest nak cakes too, so tapau some cakes at Secret Recipes.. I realised I did not buat any kerja pejabat yang diusung balik dengan beratnya ke rumah...So tonight, the last nite of this long but short weekend (huh?!)...nampaknya kena burn the midnight oil...how I deserve this for being so lazy....hah! Back to routine.Argh!!!!!

"IT PAYS TO BE SENSIBLE....AT TIMES"

P.S. Thanks Amal for Mat Bunga...it was hilarious...RI was really Mat Bunga,hilang macho...hahahha..tapi seronok...hahaha..to me, he is still DREAMY ...hahaha...ya..ya, I tengok jugak malam tu walaupun kepala penuh dengan suara FT and CT.