I love you too...

I was suppose to do my posting first then read the blogs of my family and friends..I was suppose to write about my birthday lunch that I had with a very close and dear friend..Azu. I was about to relate the things we spoke about..the things we did in the short pace of time..she was on a mission to get a new sofa set..we couldn't speak much as time was against us...and I had Sofia with me..you cant have a decent conversation, when you have to have a third eye on a child...our conversations was about our children...how we have changed...I think we all changed for the better.Thank you Azu for the birthday lunch..it compensated for hubby's lack of presence..thank you for the cooking book..I will try to do justice to it. Thank you for not being judgemental about my kegilaan..I think you faham..

I was supposed to share how I spend my 43th birthday.

Instead, I was side tracked by the posting I read on Kak Chick's blog.Thank you Kak Chick for the words of encouragement..I was overwhelmed with it and could feel the sincerity of your words. I don't know whether I could achieve much...I don't know whether I could make Pak proud..he has such a big shoes to fill ..nevertheless, I will try my best..its not easy Kak Chick, arwah Pak was just not a father, he was a mentor, a protector, my security blanket..to me, I would always be his little girl, trying hard to please him..what I missed about him was his just his presence and his hugs.

We were left with such a big legacy..big responsibilities..I remembered an incident that shaped my future. I remembered clearly,we were at Yang's place, Wa Wan Mat came over..the adults were talking...I was looking at a historical/pictorial book..when Wa tanya..what was my ambition..I said "nak jadi lawyer". Wa kata "baguih tu..cita2 besaq". Yang (one of my favourite uncle)laughed and gave some words of encouragement. Pak just smiled and nodded his head. He looked pleased. To me that was enough, that was encouragement...to me that was his blessing. I was 14 years old then..with that etched in my mind, I worked hard towards pursuing my dreams.

I tried Kak Chick, I am still trying...like you said, the legacy is hard to carry...we were raised by parents that were decent and hard working people..we were instilled with principles that they themselves we raised...we have Datuk Haji Wan Ismail and Wan Abdul Hamid's blood running through our veins..I cant honestly say with confident that there is something great in the waiting for me. That I think would be arrogant of me..but I know for certainty is that the road will not be easy.If I could achieve a quarter of what Pak was..I would be grateful for that.

So, Kak Chick from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for the loving words of encouragement..I not only have the steps of arwah father to follow but the steps taken by my sisters..sisters who have shaped me, sisters who are there to guide and support, sisters who are not judgemental..sisters who allow me to make mistakes, sisters who have sacrifices on their own...sisters that I know will be there for me.

You are a strong lady with a good head on your shoulders. You have your heart at the right place..but I feel that you may feel disappointed with the circumstances surrounding you..this I feel is because you have high expectations of your peers,of your students,of your subordinates and your loved ones.You expect the best from everyone because you gave your best. That I understand,the frustration of knowing that things can be better.That perfections is within your grasps but slips away not due to you but the fault of others.

What you need to know, is that you have left your marks..you have touched the lives of so many people.. you have nurtured and guided ...you have a lot more to give...and you will not be contented until you have given it all..with that I raise my hat to you..

And I love you too.

"SOMETIMES WE DO NOT REALISE THAT WE WERE BORN WITH A PURPOSE"