Alahai...ASP KAMAL

I am such a sucker for men in uniforms..except for Pak Guards...hahaha.I have always had a soft spot for man looking so deliciously divine in uniforms..In fact hubby, after graduated pun teringin nak masuk Police Force..maybe because practically half of the family were serving in the police force.. tapi tak jadi. So please excuse me if I have the HOTS for ASP Kamal....Hmm,this is MY MCDREAMY...hehehe.I was swooning over him. This lady agak tak sedar diri...could this be my mid life crisis ( so soon ah...still in my early forties me!).

Some might questioned my taste...or lack of taste...(who cares!)but...I was...basically reminding myself that I have a hubby yang sedang menanggung sakit...jatuh bike...yeah..Again!..at home...sementara wifenye...seronok mencuci mata...alahai...macam makan chocolate...sedap..something sinful can be such a pleasure..hehehe.I am not going to aplogise for this entry..nobody reads them anyway...this is for my own indulgence.

Talking about indulgence...I had to repeatedly, yes, repeatedly..beristighfar..Ya Allah, hamba mu sememangnye lemah..iman tergoncang...mujur this applies only to ASP Kamal...tak pernah pulak dulu kat court, hari-hari jumpa polis jadi macam ni...haha.

Hai...tak sangka kan...this lady who appears to be sensible...can be SO the opposite ..well, only at times. To my darling hubby, who knows me inside and out..my weakness is that tell I you everything..even about ASP Kamal..I know you will tolerate this episode of ...what shall I say...lack of sound moral values...ya, ya.... I LOVE YOU TOO!

Kita bukan orang putih..

So, I told myself this morning that I would let my mind control my emotions for today.Well, I must say, although I am feeling tired..somehow overall it was quite okay..at least I still have the energy to do my posting eh.So, I must teach myself to have the control of mind over emotions.

Lets take one day at a time. which reminds me...I want to organise my closet...uncluttered the mess..remove unwanted stuff...throw out all the 'rubbish' that have been accumulating in my files and almari. I think I have inherited the trait from Pak..I keep things for sensible reasons..I maybe need them in the future.But sometimes, what is sensible now, can be just pure rubbish in the future.That explains for the surat-menyurat yang I simpan dalam files...paper cuttings yang kononnye for some interest and knowledge...drawings that kakak and adik buat...some pieces of mementos from friends..scriblings...One scribblings yang I cherish tapi dah hilang...some words of encouragement from Pak that hilang bersama purse yang kena curi masa beratur naik bus 222 from Bas Stand Klang to Shah Alam...sedih...

Tak apalah, yang pentingnye memories tu...by the way, tadi I tanya hubby macam mana dia lamar I, I cant remember...why the question? Because I tertengok dalam tv tadi...hubby cakap I suruh Abang Bakri and Kak Ha masuk minang..."kita bukan macam orang putih..nak cakap will you marry me". Well, to be honest I do not remember the actual words or when he proposed...I guess there was no proper proposal...alahai, terfikir balik tak romantik la hubby ni. Or maybe romance is over rated. Dulu ada rasa all giddy and goey...maybe, age is creeping up with me...well, lets be fair, hubby had his fair chance at being romantic. Sometimes, words are best left unsaid...let action speaks...but without words..we are just living in silence, not that we are both living in silence..not with two kids...we can barely have decent conversation...bila the kids dah tidur baru boleh sembang-sembang...syok jugak sembang malam-malam ni...hehehe...

Oh ya pagi tadi adik kata.."sempit la"...amboi, si adik ni, siapa yang menyempit ni...both the parents yang selalu sakit belakang...tidur kat tepi katil, macam nak jatuh aje..adik seperti biasa tidur ikut sedap hati aje...pusingan 360 darjah...tidur dengan budak kecik best, dia suka peluk and boleh peluk-peluk. Nanti bila dah besar sikit dah tak nak peluk-peluk dah. Tapi too much of peluk, rimas jugak...yang jadi mangsa adik sekarang is ayah...macam-macam aksi adik tidur with ayah...anak ayah...she gets away with it.

Let it be...

The mind is such a powerful tool. I am trying to test whether my moods can be control by my mind instead of my emotions. I am expecting a full lousy day today. There are 2 meetings scheduled today which I have been dreading since last week. Lets see whether I can breeze through it without any major setback. By the way, am supposed to be driving to work by now...hmm, lets just not rush eh...So,let it be..

Trying...

Was looking forward for the weekend.So much.Was looking forward to see Aqil.So dissapointed.I have to work this weekend. Two full days.Trying hard to accept the situation.Trying....

"I JUST CANT SWALLOW ANY MORE LEMONADES"