Sunday, November 2, 2008

Mak's soul mate

Amal gave me a link to this particular blog, it lead me to reminisce about mak and pak..the write up was sad but at the same time heart warming cos this blogger have the same problems that we are facing with mak.Her mum is also at the "in between worlds"...where mak cannot comprehend clearly on the things that are happening to her...but at the same time, appears to the "aware" of her surroundings....quite contradicting and confusing.In mak's world I seem to have 2 girls with one boy...hmm.

Last week, kak played a fast one on the whole family about mak tak nak balik ke KL cos she nak jaga kucing, ayam and about the kucing...mak has soft spot for kucing...dulu kat Sri Gombak, we had kucing yang tak dibela secara rasmi, mak bagi makan and selalu mak yang ambik tanam kucing bila kena langgar kereta...AJ selalu langgar kucing bila nak reverse kereta.Now, pasal ayam and got us worried about mak's condition cause mak tak bela ayam and itik kat Alor Setaq...

Anyway, what I want to say is that mak is going through a frightening period of her life, I can understand Kak Mah's concern bila she said to kak that she is worried that it will happen to her (in reference to kak's sms about the kucing, ayam & itik) ...I have that same notion too. Will my kids be a patient as Wa, will they be thoughtful of my feelings...I pernah pergi to One U, lepas naik escalator,couldn't remember where I parked my car, a sense of panic and anxiety crept in....and it was only just 10 minutes ago of stepping out from the car. A cold truth strucked me, kesian kat mak, she suffers these episodes on a regular basis everyday...just imagine how she must be feeling. All confused and frightened.Alone.

Bila I baca that blog tadi, I teringat balik about pak and mak when they were together. Being the second last and among the two girls yang were living with them, while the rest were raising their own families...Amal and I were fortunate to see the other side of Pak and Mak.

They were a very loving couple...I could still remember them watching the tv, with pak head cradle between mak's peha...pak gently playing with mak's fingers...they were not shy to display their affections, there were occasions when Pak will say something amusing and mak will smile,they would talk about something routine but it doesnt seem to bore them, that is marriage to me... at the back of my mind, I said to myself...alangkan bestnye dapat jadi macam tu nanti....Mak was not only his wife, she was his best friend,loving companion,matron (jaga ubat-ubat and his low fat, low salt diet for Pak)and most of all his soul mate. After Pak pencen, mak accompanied Pak to his meeting trips to Sabah and Sarawak while Pak was a Commissioner for SPA.Infact as long as I can remember, Pak always had mak with her....they went to pasar borong selayang in the wee hours of the morning to stock up the weekly or monthly supply...pi bayar bills together, makan breakfast together...makan mee jawa kat Greenwood (bawa balik 1 or 2 bungkus), pi jalan-jalan together...they had so much togetherness.It must have been a nightmare and still is for mak to lose Pak.She misses him all the time, I can see it in her eyes.I am not saying that we, the kids and grandchildren do not bring her happiness and joy but I am sure that it is not the same comfort of having a your better half with you.

(this was written about a month ago, but I just couldnt complete it for some reasons, infact banyak lagi nak ditulis but I seem to be really busy or the log would be "hilang" cos tak boleh auto save...something about connection...)